Dear Family and Friends,

                This has been and will be the most difficult time in my life.  To lose someone that was such a big part of me is the most difficult thing I have ever had to experience.  Nick was my best friend, my soul mate, my everything.  I knew we would have spent the rest of our lives together.  We have so many plans that are now left undone.  We were waiting until I graduated this spring to move down to Savannah, GA.  Then after I got my masters we planned to move back to his home town, Redlands, where we were going to start our family.  We had many conversations about how we would raise our children; what values we wanted to instill in them, how we wanted them to appreciate everything they had, how if they worked hard enough they could achieve all their goals, and not to let anyone tell them “you can’t.”  Nick was so excited to be a dad, all he wanted to do was to have a child so he could give that child all the love he had to offer.  Unfortunately sometimes things don't go the way we plan.  But I am so fortunate to have had Nick in my life for the past 4 years.  We have so many great memories together that I can and will hold on to.

My first memory of Nick was the day we met.  It was the first day I was in Florence.  My roommate and I had been walking around in the hot July weather so we decided to sit and rest for a little bit on this bench that wrapped around a big bush.  We were enjoying the rest when suddenly the bench started popping up and down.  We looked around the corner and saw these two guys jumping on it so we moved over to the next one.  Next thing we knew the guys are walking up to us saying “hey ladies.”  We were both like, "oh you’re American!"  We started talking with them and then slyly Nick took out a flyer for a bar he worked and handed it to us asking us to come hang out later.  We promised we’d go and then parted ways.  Later we weren’t sure if we wanted to go out but I said “we’ll just go for five minutes and then we’ll leave.”  So we went and those 5 minutes turned into the whole month.

Nick and I spent every day together after that; playing cards at JJ’s, getting espresso, and walking around the whole town.  He showed me all the good places to take photos for my class.  That month we became best friends and when I finally had to leave I cried the whole way home.  Even when I got back to New York, we spoke every night for hours at a time.  A week later I booked a flight back to Italy and asked him to help me find a place to live.  Secretly I didn’t want him to find a place and secretly he wasn’t looking for one.  We both just wanted to be with one another.

I remember the long plane ride back to Italy I contemplated whether or not I should greet him with a kiss on the lips or on the cheek.  I finally decided that I would just take a chance and kiss him on the lips.  I didn’t know that he had been thinking about this as well and since he was such a gentleman he decided to kiss me on the cheek.  When I got to the airport he was there waiting for me with flowers and a card.  I gave him a big hug and went to kiss him but instead we wound up doing that awkward corner lip kiss.

The rest is history; we fell more deeply in love with each passing day growing closer and closer.  We kept nothing from one another.  He was my everything.  He changed my life forever and I am forever grateful for that.  Baby, you have entered my heart and you'll be here forever.  I Love You!

                These past days have felt like an eternity stuck in a nightmare but the one thing that has kept me going is the love I have been receiving from all over the world.  I want to thank each and every one of you who has been there for me; comforting me with hugs and words of wisdom, keeping me in your prayers, donating to Nick's memorial fund, just being there when I need someone to talk to, setting up Nick's memorial fund and website, opening up your home to me and my family, and adopting me into your Redlands family.  I am so grateful to have you all in my life.

Love,

Deanna