Clearing up a bit of confusion

In the article recently published by the Redlands Daily Facts there was an important bit of information that was taken out of context when the story was written.

Nicholas' family would like me to make all aware that donations to the Memorial Fund, at present time, are directly going to Cynthia and Deanna to assist them financially in the wake of Nick's death. As many of us already knew, Nick was the main bread-winner for all 3 in his household (himself, Cynthia and Deanna). Cynthia and Deanna are diligently working to resolve things with the V.A., but significant costs fell upon them both in the past two weeks. Also, when the V.A.'s reimbursement does come through it will only cover about 20% of the total cost. Please know that in the distant future, if it is possible to assist families of veterans enduring similar circumstances with information and financial assistance, both Cynthia and Deanna will do what they can to continue with the Memorial Fund in Nick's name in his honor. But for now your donations are directly supporting the family in their ongoing time of need.

I thank each and every one of you who has contributed to Nick's Memorial Fund. Please check back now and then for future fund raising efforts.

Love,

Wes

From Cynthia Carter (speech given at Sunday's Memorial Service)

I am so thankful and extremely proud to have Nick as my son.  He was an exceptional son.

I want to thank you all for coming today.  The outpouring of love and support is what has sustained me through the most heartbreaking time of my life.  I remember the day Nick was born as if it were yesterday.  He was the most precious thing that I ever laid eyes on.  He never caused me one day of morning sickness and after three weeks late of his due date, I never had a labor pain.  He was an adorable baby and brought enormous joy.  He was the reason for believing in life.

I never wanted him to get hurt and was overprotective.  I used to cut his curly hair. After one of his haircuts, when he was 5 years old, he looked up at me and said, "I think you need to take me to a barber."  Growing up he loved playing sports, especially baseball and soccer.  He reminded me recently that he remembered as a toddler how I would hold my arms around him and we would hold the baseball bat together.  I'd throw the ball up in the air and we'd hit the ball against the back of the front door inside our apartment and laugh.  He also loved to act in plays at Redlands High School.  He was very artistic, which also attributed to him being an exceptional chef.

Nick had a wonderful sense of humor and he would always be able to cheer me up just by being with him.  He was generous, loving and a devoted son.  My life was always easier because he was in it.  He was a gentle soul.  A mother is the happiest when they see their child happy.  He enjoyed life to the fullest with his friends and through his accomplishments.  As he passed through his life I am so thankful he received love and happiness from all of you.  He had a special place in his heart for his Uncle Phil.  They had a special bond that will always hold.

When Nick met Deanna they were perfect together.  They loved and helped each other with everything.  They have a very special love for each other.  He lit up whenever she walked in to the room.  I was able to witness their love and devotion for each other after we moved into the same home 3 months ago.  Nick was so happy.  It was the first house he lived in.  He finally had his "man cave", which included a refrigerator stocked with Miller High Life.  The three of us would have our morning coffee in our robes in the backyard with the puppies, Annabelle and Bronson.

Nick got a new red electric lawn mower and loved doing yard work.  He really had a green thumb.  He loved chopping the firewood we collected for free.  After using the chain saw on the larger logs, he would use an ax.  He was calling himself a lumberjack and even thought of helping others chop their wood too, he enjoyed it so much.  He built the best roaring fires in our fireplace.  He could even get  the wet wood to burn.  He told me he perfected that while in the Army.  

He was getting A's in all the classes he was taking, including conversational Italian.  The class was a challenge for him since his peers were college language professors.  The class was formal and structured and Nick loved to help clarify the meaning of some of the Italian words by blurting out the "off color" version of the word.  The other students would always laugh, much to his teacher's dismay.

Although Nick's passing was sudden and came as a shock to all of us, I know in my heart that he would not want us to spend forever grieving.  Rather, Nick would want us all to remember our favorite moments spent with him.  He blessed the lives of those around him.  He was a loyal friend and generous to all.   He was a wonderful gift to this world.

A special gratitude goes out to  Deanna, Wendy, Deanine, Len, Tyler, Chelsea, Bryce, and CJ Sinisgalli, Shalia Slayton, Melissa, Nate, Ellen, Leo and Juliana Schouest, Nick, Bunny and Rick Malone, Bill, Patty, Don and Hilary Craw, Scott Brandt, Wes Vento, Tom Nolin, Cory and Emily Fitzgerald, Mike and Scott, James and Janelle Miller, Pat McCarty, Darla and Yves Ostor, Maureen Palmese, and to Cody Herrin, a fellow Army Ranger.  From New York;  the Fanning family, Jones family, Jimmy Benedetto,  Kempey family, Gary Zwick, Cindy and Dave Greenberg, Lauren, Nick Lorenzen, Vinny DeVita, Tim, Laura Franco, Dina Rabinovits, Kathy and Jeff Sprenger.  You all have been a Godsend and incredible.

Nick passed away on a full moon, so whenever you see a full moon it will be a reminder of how full and bright his life was.  Son, your humor, dedication and bravery made you great.  Now, with your transition to a greater place, allow it to make us great.  I love you with all my heart.

Dear Family and Friends,

                This has been and will be the most difficult time in my life.  To lose someone that was such a big part of me is the most difficult thing I have ever had to experience.  Nick was my best friend, my soul mate, my everything.  I knew we would have spent the rest of our lives together.  We have so many plans that are now left undone.  We were waiting until I graduated this spring to move down to Savannah, GA.  Then after I got my masters we planned to move back to his home town, Redlands, where we were going to start our family.  We had many conversations about how we would raise our children; what values we wanted to instill in them, how we wanted them to appreciate everything they had, how if they worked hard enough they could achieve all their goals, and not to let anyone tell them “you can’t.”  Nick was so excited to be a dad, all he wanted to do was to have a child so he could give that child all the love he had to offer.  Unfortunately sometimes things don't go the way we plan.  But I am so fortunate to have had Nick in my life for the past 4 years.  We have so many great memories together that I can and will hold on to.

My first memory of Nick was the day we met.  It was the first day I was in Florence.  My roommate and I had been walking around in the hot July weather so we decided to sit and rest for a little bit on this bench that wrapped around a big bush.  We were enjoying the rest when suddenly the bench started popping up and down.  We looked around the corner and saw these two guys jumping on it so we moved over to the next one.  Next thing we knew the guys are walking up to us saying “hey ladies.”  We were both like, "oh you’re American!"  We started talking with them and then slyly Nick took out a flyer for a bar he worked and handed it to us asking us to come hang out later.  We promised we’d go and then parted ways.  Later we weren’t sure if we wanted to go out but I said “we’ll just go for five minutes and then we’ll leave.”  So we went and those 5 minutes turned into the whole month.

Nick and I spent every day together after that; playing cards at JJ’s, getting espresso, and walking around the whole town.  He showed me all the good places to take photos for my class.  That month we became best friends and when I finally had to leave I cried the whole way home.  Even when I got back to New York, we spoke every night for hours at a time.  A week later I booked a flight back to Italy and asked him to help me find a place to live.  Secretly I didn’t want him to find a place and secretly he wasn’t looking for one.  We both just wanted to be with one another.

I remember the long plane ride back to Italy I contemplated whether or not I should greet him with a kiss on the lips or on the cheek.  I finally decided that I would just take a chance and kiss him on the lips.  I didn’t know that he had been thinking about this as well and since he was such a gentleman he decided to kiss me on the cheek.  When I got to the airport he was there waiting for me with flowers and a card.  I gave him a big hug and went to kiss him but instead we wound up doing that awkward corner lip kiss.

The rest is history; we fell more deeply in love with each passing day growing closer and closer.  We kept nothing from one another.  He was my everything.  He changed my life forever and I am forever grateful for that.  Baby, you have entered my heart and you'll be here forever.  I Love You!

                These past days have felt like an eternity stuck in a nightmare but the one thing that has kept me going is the love I have been receiving from all over the world.  I want to thank each and every one of you who has been there for me; comforting me with hugs and words of wisdom, keeping me in your prayers, donating to Nick's memorial fund, just being there when I need someone to talk to, setting up Nick's memorial fund and website, opening up your home to me and my family, and adopting me into your Redlands family.  I am so grateful to have you all in my life.

Love,

Deanna

Nick is remembered in the Redlands Daily Facts

http://www.redlandsdailyfacts.com/news/ci_16747086

Thanks to Joy Juedes at the Daily Facts for writing this piece and sharing with the rest of Redlands what Nick's life was all about. I'm truly appreciative of that.

Thanks Joy,

Wes

Slideshow

Thanks to James Miller, Mike Devlin, Nathan Schouest, Cory and Emily Fitzgerald and all of you who sent in pictures and helped with the music for working so hard to make this spectacular tribute.

Here's another slideshow that was sent to me by James Benedetto. Thanks to him for getting it put together as well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_CZcrpTo-Y

Nate's speech from yesterday...

My name is Nathan Schouest. Nick is my oldest friend; he will always be my oldest friend. I never had a brother, but I am proud that he called me his, and I the same. Nicholas Clifford Carter was raised like many of us here today in the 909, over in Redlands, California. Born June 18, 1981 to his mother Cynthia. Nick is a testament to Cynthia and the persistence she had to guide this often bucking bronco of a boy and a man. Although we all knew we couldn’t control Nick or what he would do, I thank Cynthia for steering him, and pointing him the right direction. Kicking him in the butt when needed and helping make him the man we all respected and loved. Early in life I saw that his love for you and his desire to ensure you were cared for was stronger than most boys for their mother, and this attribute was definitely transposed to his other relationships in life. 

Today I feel lucky, I feel lucky to have known Nick for nearly 27 of his 29 years. I feel lucky that he was in my life for so long, and left such an imprint that I know will survive for the rest of my life. Over the last week, I have heard so many people say ‘he was my best friend’. And it’s true, he was, that’s the man Nick was, unbelievably loyal, supportive, energetic, adventurous, dependable and magnetic. He was the glue in any conversation or gathering. He kept things going late into the night and early into the morning. For me he was the easiest person to hang around with I ever met, despite being stubborn, and at times thickheaded. 

I’ve been struggling the last several days to come up with a story to tell, a story to serve Nick justice. There are too many memories that I have found myself grasping at a million stories, they all seem to flow into to each other. We shared so much early on, so many firsts, soccer teams, friends, watching Mallrats 100 times, the DarkSide crew, the water tower, Redlands pride and other debauchery. But Nick wasn’t only mine, and not only Redlands’, as can be seen by everyone gathered here today and those who couldn’t be here but have sent their thoughts and prayers. 

 I’ve decided with Nick, it is more about moments. The moment when you walked in the room, no matter what he was doing, if it was a friend he would run over, pick them up in the air with a huge bear hug and let you know he was glad you were there. The moment after a soccer game, when you knew he would have something hilarious to say about the other team and something good to say about what you had done in the game. The moment before I’d pick him up, probably a 1000 times sitting on the curb in the street outside the Lawn and Tennis Apartments where he grew up, ready to go cause some trouble. The moment you saw Nick running full speed down the street, in flip flops, not knowing how those things stayed on his feet. 

The moment I walked outside my math class and realized he had made me a 7 foot by 15 foot Happy Birthday poster with all the cheerleader writing and dazzle he could muster; followed by a dive bomb hug from behind as he came out of the class next to me. Nick knew how to show his love for his friends and family, you always felt it. The moment he would sit with an old friend when you were down and how he was able to empathize in just the right way to make you whole again, make you smile again. The feeling you’d get the moment he walked in the door, knowing the next few minutes of your life were going to be better than the previous. The moment he told me he was joining the military; it was the toughest conversation we ever had. The moment you knew that he would never let you fail, as long as he was around to help. The moment today that I miss you Nick, but I realize you will never be gone. He helped shape so many lives, nearly every moment I got to spend with Nick was a positive one, was an encouraging one.

Nick decided to go into the Army while I was at UC Santa Barbara and I was scared, at first for him, but soon I realized I should probably be more scared for the Iraqi’s and the Taliban. When Nick put his mind to something, you knew it was going to get done, and it was going to get done well. Nick showed no fear in so many aspects of his life that at the end of the day I had no doubt that he would be coming home from war. 

I know his time in the military was challenging and harrowing but also extremely rewarding. He rarely spoke of the specific experiences with me. But always mentioned his love for his Ranger brothers, the amazing friendships he made and his achievements. Never tooting his own horn, but we all knew he was going to be one of the best at anything he did, and his great success during his service only reinforced our confidence in Nick. 

Before moving to Italy Nick and I talked. He was so determined to go to culinary school, he didn’t know how he was going to pay for it, or if he was even going to get into school. But I had no doubts; he had decided this was what he was going to do, so I knew it would be done. After a few months of being there he seemed like a new man, never forgetting where he came from or what he had been through, but he was rejuvenated. For most of the time he was there I thought I may never see him in the United States again. I thought I would just have to buy a ticket to Florence, take a month off and visit him. Until one day we talked and he said he was thinking about moving to New York. I knew something was off, a staunch California boy talking about moving to Long Island, farfetched I thought. He kept talking about this amazing little gymnast. “Nate” he said, “You got to meet her, you will see what I am talking about, I need you to meet her.” 

It took a while for that meeting to happen, but when I finally visited Nick in New York, I couldn’t believe how excited he was for me to meet his woman. I knew right away this was something different, that he had it bad. After that weekend, even though he was still far from what I considered “home”, I realized he had found a great place, and an amazing woman to share his life with. Deanna, I want to thank you, I never saw Nick more proud and complete a man than when he had you by his side. You made him so happy, kept him grounded. It was clear that he found his perfect compliment and I never had a doubt that he was in the best hands. Please know you always have a family here in California. 

There was so much I admired about Nick, but above all I strive to replicate his loyalty and the joy he created for others when he was around, and long after he left the room. 

I end with a short quote that I feel epitomizes Nick’s drive and determination. It describes how Nick lived his life and how I plan to live my life in order to honor his.  I learned it from my Grandfather and it is a quote from our 30th president Calvin Coolidge. Press on - Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. We must press on as Nick did so often in his life, in tribute to the way he lived his. I love you brother. 

Full Moon

November 28th, 2010 was an emotional day for all of us. It was filled with both sorrow and a great deal of love. Nick was honored with a beautiful memorial in Riverside. I am so moved by the amount of reach he had, to so many near and far. Nick was extraordinary. I do not want to even attempt to sound as eloquent as Nathan or Tom were today, nor do I feel I can replicate the strength that was shown by Cynthia and Deanna. How sad and grief stricken I am for the both of them. I gathered strength from my friends, who have been truly amazing throughout this tragedy. 

In my effort to do as much as I can for the family, and really for us all, I am going to take as many photos as I can compile for some sort of online photo album. When I figure out just exactly how to do that, I'll share it with everyone. The sheer volume of photographs I have seen in the last few days is just too much to try and put up on this site the way I have been. 

Tomorrow (today) is the fundraiser dinner at Gourmet Pizza Shoppe in Redlands on State Street. Come on down from 5:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. to share some more memories, hang out, and help out with the Memorial Fund. Thanks again to the team at Gourmet Pizza, especially the Craws and Scott Brandt, I know its your guys' day off, so we really appreciate it. 

- Wes 

From Lynn Paulus

I've started typing this tribute dozens of times, but nothing seems
good enough for Nick. He's been my brother for a decade, from the
first moment I met him. My times with the brothers are among the best
in my life and always will be. I remember drinking at the apartment,
long discussions about everything and nothing, fights in the parking
lot, and this incredible feeling of family. We belonged to each other.
During every greeting and every parting, there were hugs. I will
always remember Nick's hugs - it was like you were the only person in
the world and he was always overjoyed to see you, these massive
bearhugs that made both of you start laughing. That's just how he was,
though, a huge, bright personality that encompassed all of us. Nothing
was wrong when you talked to him, even if only for the time you were
talking, even if you were miserable the instant before and after.
Whenever I've thought of Nick over the years, I've smiled, instantly
picturing his enormous grin. People say that the world is a sadder
place whenever anyone passes away, but in very few instances is it
felt by anyone who had ever met the person. Nick made this place
better just by being here and I always felt that, no matter where he
was. Nick and I went for a long time with only sporadic communication,
but you can do that with a brother. The years melt away when you talk
again and it's like we were back on the terrace, talking about who
knows what. I'm so glad that we'd recently been in touch, that I got
even a small chance to catch up with him and to be reassured that he's
still the same Nick, after all these years and everything that's
happened in between. No one who knew Nick could help being changed for
the better, looking at the world in a new way, and not one of us will
ever forget him.

I love you forever, brother, and I will always carry your light with
me. We all will.

From Melissa Chaney

 

I only had the opportunity to meet Nick once, yet I have cried every day since he passed.  Someone that can have that kind of impact on a person is someone that will never be forgotten.  I had heard many stories about Nick from Nate while we were starting out in our relationship.  I  was anxious to meet him, as he was the final friend of Nate's that I had to meet and get the "girlfriend stamp of approval" from to be allowed into the coveted inner circle of the Redlands Crew.  As soon as Nate introduced us he gave me a huge hug, told me he loved me and thanked me for making Nate so happy.  His sincerity and loyalty is astounding and is something that we should all strive to achieve.  I am upset that I didn't get to know him as well as most of you, but know that the impact he made on me in just one weekend I will carry with me for the rest of my life. Having experienced that first impression,  I know that those of you that have been friends with him for years will make sure his legend will never be forgotten.  Knowing that everyone will carry Nick with them in their hearts, I hope that will help us move past the mourning and begin to celebrate Nicks life for years to come.

 

All My Love,

Melissa

Obituary

Nick's Obituary in the Daily Facts

Its also in the paper version, running today and tomorrow if you want to get a copy.

-Wes

What I Got

Fundraiser Dinner @ Gourmet Pizza Shoppe

The kind folks at Gourmet Pizza Shoppe have volunteered to host a fundraiser dinner at their State Street location, 120 E. State St on Monday, November 29th from 5:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m.

60% of the $15 contribution will directly benefit the Nick Carter Memorial Fund. Your donation will get you some pizza and salad, drinks will be extra. The family looks forward to sharing their memories of Nick with friends and acquiantences.

Special thanks to the team at Gourmet Pizza Shoppe for opening their doors to all of us, and to Ellen Schouest and Patty Craw for making this happen.

I hope to see a big turn out for this event. I know its the holidays and everyone is busy, so your presence at this event will be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

500+ page views just today

If all of those page views included a donation of just $5 we'd have an excess of $2,500. Please please donate, even if its as little as $5, it can go a LONG way to help.

Much love,

Wes

From Victor Hernandez

“The only ones for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, BURN, like fabulous roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes 'AWWW!'”

Jack Kerouac On The Road.

Nick, 

From the start I knew that this life would be far to tight a fit for you, far too small a vessel to contain all that you seemed to everyone to be. We entered our formidable years together, and attacked them with such fervor and tenacity that sometimes it seemed we would surely perish through youthful stupidity. We tested ourselves everyday. How far? How fast? How long? How many? We invented rites of passage and rituals for others to earn a place at the table. We forged a tribe and a family that as I write this are mourning the loss of their brother. Before we bled in battle in the same desert, we knew we were built tough because we had bled in parking lots. We simply knew in our youth that we were tougher than anyone else alive, and never stopped trying to prove it. We will gather soon to remember you, brother. Some will thumb through photos, some will watch videos, but a few of us will be in the back comparing scars.

I carry you with me, and will forever. I feel like our lives have paralleled each other for years. The apartment, the Army, the war, becoming chefs, settling down. It always seemed that when we spoke we were going through the same things, being tempered into tamer beasts by life, love, and time. It always felt like there was someone I could always talk to about anything, even when things got rough, because it seemed as though we were looking at the same life with two sets of eyes. And now, as your eyes close, I can feel a blindspot emerging. But I know you will always have my 6. I know you will never really be gone. You are a blindingly bright roman candle in my sky that has exploded and now will be seen forever in my mind. I will miss you, but I will never forget. 

Memorial Fund Up and Running

The Memorial Fund account has been established thanks to Cory's efforts. Please donate via the PayPal button in the top right corner using your credit card or paypal account. If you would prefer to send a check, please make the check payable to NICHOLAS CARTER MEMORIAL FUND. 


Here is the address where you can mail your check. Please address the envelope to CORY FITZGERALD. 


PO Box 694
Redlands, CA  92373


Thanks everybody! Every penny counts, so please donate what you can. 


- Wes 

The Pogues - The Body of an American Lyrics

From Peter Miller

Nick, you will live forever in my heart and mind – and I know in the minds and hearts of countless others. I am truly in shock... at a loss for words I turn to those of another who have touched me in life:

"We all do what we can and it has to be good enough. And if it isn't good enough it still has to do. Nothing is ever lost for us - nothing that can't be found." - SK as JS

Nick, not only in life did you do what you could, especially for others, it was more than good enough. Your and Deanna’s love for me saved my life. I am so grateful to have spent my life knowing you, living with you, and learning from you. Your gift to your country, to your friends and family, and to all of those around you was one of unselfishness, respect and inspiration. It is with great honor and humble respect that I called you my brother and you called me yours. The world was a better place because of you, and that legacy will live on in all that you represented and leave behind. I will forever refer to you as my brother.

My love always, Pete Miller

“Can't see the sense in crying, There's too many tears to fall, My thoughts are multiplying, So I'll try to save them all...” - DM, “Fools”

Memorial Service and some updates

via Nick Malone:

The services for Nick have been confirmed.  All services will be held at Arlington Mortuary in Riverside this Sunday 11/28/2010 starting at 11:00am. http://www.arlingtonmortuary.com/

The services start with an open casket viewing from 11:00am-1:00pm for anyone who wants to attend if you are up to it.  Closed casket services start at 1:00pm.  It will be a non-denominational service including honor guard.  There have been a limited amount of flowers ordered for the service.  Feel free to bring flowers if you want to.  However, the money spent would be best used in the form of a donation to the fund Cory is setting up in memoriam of Nick Carter.  All donations will be used towards the service costs for Deanna and Cynthia.  Any donated money left over will be used by Deanna and Cynthia in the future to help other Military/Veteran families going through the same situation. 

--------

A quick note on the fund raising efforts: Cory has informed me that this account will be set up sometime tomorrow for all to contribute donations. Please stay tuned for this. 

I was able to sit down tonight with my best friend, Nathan Schouest, tonight and look over hundreds of photos. Cory, Emily, Scott, Nate and I all enjoyed the photos. Nate has inundated me with pictures, almost too many to post on the photo thread. I'll selectively go through them, but I'm thinking that I'll set up some kind of online album and share all the great pictures we have from Nick's life. 

I must admit that all of Sunday and Monday I was walking around in shock. Its really starting to sink in that this actually happened. I cried into my nachos at Las Fuentes, the first real tears I've shed. More to come I'm certain. I can't stop the questions from flying through my mind about what happened. It was really nice to be able to smile and laugh at all the pictures though. They really are precious, so for all of our sake, lets hope I can get them all loaded onto that album SOON. 

Nate and his mother, Ellen, are going to the Daily Facts tomorrow to submit an obituary for Nick. I am told it will be in the Thursday edition, so please try to pick up a copy or check http://www.redlandsdailyfacts.com/

My thoughts and prayers are will all who have been affected by this tragic loss, mostly Cynthia and Deanna and D's family. I hope you all are finding your way through this haze. 

- Wes

Photos

Please share any photos of Nick in this thread. I have only found a few so far, hopefully I'll dig up more once I really get to looking through all the boxes of pictures at my parents' house. Click on the photos to see a larger image.

Memorial Fund

There are a few of us who are working on setting up a memorial fund for Cynthia. As soon as details on how to donate or any other fund raising activities surface, they will be shared with you all here.

Thanks,

Wes

I miss you

Nick,

Its taken me almost 9 hours just to type these words. Mostly I've been playing Mario Kart, trying not to accept that you are gone. This is the saddest day. The first day that you're not here anymore. I've just been digging for the last 40 hours, digging inside myself trying to bring all the memories of you to the surface. I'm trying to keep you alive in my heart. I look at pictures from soccer and remember. I think about days cruising around in my little yellow Toyota, looking for trouble. I remember the day you showed up at Cory and Emily's wedding, the first time I'd seen you since you joined the Army. You looked so impressive in uniform. I envied your strength, I felt proud to be your friend. I still do. You will always be my friend, and I will carry that with me for the rest of my life, knowing that one day we'll be able to laugh together again. I can't believe you're gone, it was too soon.

Love,

Wes